Salisbury Cathedral: A man has been arrested after he smashed the protective glass covering the famed historical document ‘The Magna Carta’ where the copy was on display in the cathedral. The incident took place on Thursday afternoon the 25th of October. While the robber was caught another man who may have handed the assailant the hammer escaped. Police report that a passport dropped by the accomplice who eluded capture appears to belong to the Russian Federation President Vladimir Putin. Experts speculate that Putin wanted to have the document in order to blackmail the UK government in the same way that Putin is blackmailing US President Donald Trump.
The cathedral has been the focus of a lot of international attention following the Skripal poisoning case, with the two suspects telling RT they were visiting the site because of its “famous 123 meter spire.” This is an obvious Russian follow up activity that is exactly the type of thing Putin would dream up. Putin was a KGB secret police agent in East Germany in the 1980’s and is familiar with ‘cloak and dagger’ black operations.
Internet detectives immediately pointed the finger at the Russians joining the consent manufacturers in solving the crime with hardly any effort. Blame the Russians. Every half wit knows they are guilty.
The Magna Carta is an important historical document that helped weaken the king’s centralized power and granted more powers to the feudal war lords thus helping to keep the Middle Ages going for extra centuries. Somehow that is now interpreted as a first step towards ‘democracy.’ Of course Putin hates democracy and seeks to gain more centralized power so stealing the Magna Carta would be a triumph like when Hitler found the lost Arc of the Covenant.